Points of Vue

Dear Sirs

I visited your Finchley Road cinema on 1/10/12 for the 20:40 showing of Untouchable.

I am a huge cinema fan, and although not the cheapest or most comfortable cinema, I am such a big fan of your brand, and normal high quality level of service that I will always choose your cinema above others.

It is my love of Vue cinemas that made my experience on Monday all the more disheartening.

Firstly, you charge an exorbitant amount for both your tickets and snacks, but it is a price I am normally willing to pay for the fantastic experience. The large popcorn I purchased however can only be described as disgusting. I paid over ten pounds for my popcorn and Fanta ice drink and found the popcorn totally inedible. To say that the popcorn itself may have cost around 20 pence to produce, for the 6/7 pounds charged it really should be excellent.

As I put each kernel into my mouth it compressed into a hard ball and was impossible to chew. On the few attempts I made to eat it, I had to wash each chunk of shrapnel down like a pill with my fabulous Fanta ice drink, now wasting this delicious precious liquid commodity.

I must also note that I noticed your staff shovelling the remaining popcorn into the bin immediately after serving me and my two friends. You must yourselves have known of the shocking quality and been delighted to palm off the remaining vile dregs to me and my friends in three hearty servings for a cool £20.

My dismay did not end there. I had to endure an entire film, which for the record was absolutely fantastic, with a spotlight glaring from the ceiling directly into my eyes. I had a terrible pain in my eyes and head by the end of the film and had to go immediately to bed with a cold compress. I have never known such lights to be on in the theatre during a showing.

Furthermore, the entire cinema’s cooling prowess was directed at me and my friends and we were almost reduced to huddling as penguins do, to maintain heat. There was no need for such violent air conditioning on a chilly autumnal eve.

I have visited your cinema countless times and been a vehemently loyal customer. I therefore understand how excellent the service is normally, and you will therefore understand how utterly devastated I am now.

I did not even have the option to rectify the situation at the time. The film had already started when all these problems became apparent and after a quick search in the corridor for a staff member, I was not willing to lose a further 20 minutes of the film searching for an employee and then make an explanation in the hope the situation may be rectified.

Your staff members were just as illusive at the end of the film. I can only assume they were busy in the staff room roaring with laughter whilst counting the profits they had recently made in selling me rotten popped corn as I emerged from screen 6 in a bleary eyed, painful, ice cold stupor.

I have totally lost my faith in your once fantastic brand. It will take a lot to restore my faith, but I look forward to your response which may go some way in explaining some unknown extenuating circumstances which may have led to the theft of my precious time last Monday night.

I must also make it abundantly clear that this complaint should be read in triplicate, as you also robbed the same hours from precious lives of two of my dear friends, Hamish and Hemile.

Yours sincerely

Nicky Kelvin

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